与消逝有关的爱情

我们听到她的名字不会感到肉体的痛苦，看到她的笔记也不会发抖，我们不会为了在街上遇见她而改变行程。情感现实逐渐变成心理现实，成为我们的精神现状：冷漠和遗忘。其实，当我们恋爱时，我们就预见到了日后的结局了，而正是这种预见让我们泪流满面。

——普鲁斯特 Proust 《追忆似水年华》

Tree Hugger——Kimya Dawson

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"

The tree said, "I wish I could be a different kind of tree."

The cat wished that it was a bee,

The turtle wished that it could fly,

Really high into the sky,

Over rooftops and then dive

Deep into the sea.

And in the sea there is a fish,

A fish that has a secret wish,

A wish to be a big cactus,

With a pink flower on it.

And the flower

Would be its offering

Of love to the desert.

And the desert,

So dry and lonely,

That the creatures all

Appreciate the effort.

Et le jackalope a dit

Je voudrais etre un yeti

Pour voler dans la nuit

Et m'en aller loin d'ici

Mais le yeti a dit

Je voudrais etre un monstre marin

Pour pouvoir rentrer dans la mer

De tous les requins

[And the Jackalope said, "I want to be a yeti

To steal into the night and go far away from here."

But hte yeti said, "I want to be a sea monster

And dive into the sea

Of all the sharks."]

And the rattlesnake said, "I wish I had hands so

I could hug you like a man."

And then the cactus said,

"Don't you understand,

My skin is covered with sharp spikes

That'll stab you like a thousand knives.

A hug would be nice,

But hug my flower with your eyes."

云烟已过 岛屿依旧

我拥有的 都是侥幸啊

我失去的 都是人生啊

—— 张悬《关于我爱你》

在所有人事已非的景色里 我最喜欢你

Off all tales 'tis the saddest--and more sad.

Because it makes us smile.

—— Don Juan

Tear forgot as soon as shed.

The sunshine of the breast.

—— On a Distant Prospect of Eton College

Valentine's Day

Love like you are

80

Fuck like you are

18

书有好多种

Books you needn't read

Books made for purposes other than reading

Books that if you have more than one life yo would certainly also read but unfortunately you days are numbered.

Books you mean to read but there are others you must read first

Books too expensive now and you'll wait till they're remaindered

Books ditto when they come out in paperback

Books you can borrow from somebody

Books that everybody's read so it's as if you had read them, too

Books you've been planning to read for ages

Books you've been hunting for years without success

Books dealing with something you're working on at the moment

Books you could put aside maybe to read this summer

Books you need to go with other books on your shelves

Books that fill you with sudden, inexplicable curiosity, not easily justified

童年之门

我想，作为画家，z的生命应该开始于他九岁时的一天下午，近似于我所经历的那样一个冬天的下午。开始于一根括在瓷瓶中的羽毛。一根大鸟的羽毛，白色的，素雅，蓬勃，仪态潇洒。开始于融雪的时节，一个寒冷的周末。开始于对一座美丽的楼房的神往，和走入其中时的惊讶。开始于那美丽楼房中一间宽绰得甚至有些空旷的屋子，午后的太阳透过落地窗一方一方平整地斜铺在地板上，碰到墙根弯上去竖起来，墙壁是冬日天空一般的浅蓝，阳光在那儿变成空蒙的绿色，然后在即将消失的霎那变成淡淡的紫红。一切都开始于他此生此世头一回去找一个朋友，一个同他一般年龄的女孩儿——一个也是九岁的女人。

——史铁生《务虚笔记》

他们说

“如果有一天我变成植物人怎么办？”

“把你当花，养一辈子。”

感情实际上是回忆的累积

记忆是有生长有消亡的 经过生长到达成熟的记忆才是历史 每一个字的历史就如同一个人 一个家族的历史 尽管单薄 但正是这些芸芸众生无数单薄的历史沉淀在一起堆积出历史的厚重 我们可以依凭每个字的记忆墙垛 远远眺望历史 温故知新 由暗入明

对于天空而言 我们既是老人又是孩子

你看天空的星星像是一家 可是你知道吗 如果你活得像树那般久 就会看到他们彼此分开 更换位置 你需要的不是知识 恰恰相反 是遗忘

Star Crossed Lovers

太阳从这边走到那边。每一天每一天我都能看见一群鸽子，落在邻居家的屋顶上咕咕地叫，或在远远近近的空中悠悠地飞。你不特意去想一想的话你会以为几十年中一直就是那一群，白的，灰的，褐色的，飞着，叫着，活着，一直就这样，一直都是它们，永远都是那一群看不出有什么不同，可事实上它们已经生死相继了若干次，生死相继了数万年。

——史铁生《务虚笔记》

但我那时还不懂，不懂自己可能迟早要伤害一个人，给她以无法愈合的重创。在某种情况下，一个人的存在本身就要伤害另一个人。

我身上的什么必定彻底消失，但那是不可以消失的。它好比朦胧的梦幻。那里有高烧，有阵痛，那是一个人只能在十七八岁这一有限时期里还有的梦幻。

没有保留没有条件，没有原因没有交待，没有但是没有如果。

来势汹涌而又不动声色 能在百人中摧枯拉朽地吸引一两人的气味

“其他人或许感受不到，可我感受到了。”

“幸福不幸福，自己也不大清楚。不过至少不觉得不幸，也不孤独。”

——“国境以南是什么东西呢？”

——“不知道啊。该是非常漂亮、又大又柔软的东西吧。”

黑暗中我想到落于海面的雨——浩瀚无边的大海上无声无息地、不为任何人知晓地降落的雨。雨安安静静地叩击海面，鱼们甚至都浑然不觉。

——村上春树《国境以南，太阳以西》