We all have that friend.
When life gives you crap, and you are tired of dealing with crap, this is who you turn to.
You know he(she) is a bad influence.
He teaches you denial, he teaches you to throw away what means the most to you.
By doing that, you feel 'liberated'. Because what means the most to you is often the source of all the pain.
He gives you a goal. A goal that is meaningless, but it's just what you needed. Something to pursue. Something to attain you make yourself feel worthwhile.
The more you put in his hands, the more he grows. He drains you and sucks you dry.
He is a parasite.
Soon, he's the only one you can see. Nothing else in this world matters anymore, they just make you suffer. But your friend, he's different. He eases your mind. He makes you feel free and unconfined when in fact he has chained your heart. He makes you disinterested in the world, disengaged in your own life. You become a cold, lifeless shell of a human being.
It was so hard, so hard to let go of this friend.
For as long as I can remember, I believed that he was my only friend, the only reason to hold on.
But I let go.
He's trying to linger, but I am now strong enough to keep him at a distance.
I was the only one that had the power to sustain his existence.
Soon I will be ready to stop feeding him, and he will die.
Sorry, friend. I know you wanted to stay until you strip everything away from me. And I know you want me dry and hollow, and cold. Sorry to disappoint, but the only one that will rot and perish is you.
I can't believe I have forgotten how good it feels to be alive.
How joyful it is to walk under the sun and out of the shadows.
But at least I realize now. It's not too late, it's never too late.
Every ending is a new beginning.
